Should Parents Control Pronouns at School?

 The teacher received a note from fifth grader Jill’s parents:

We understand that you and other school personnel as well as pupils refer to Jill using “she, her, hers.” This is contrary to our family values. Please, in the future, use “they, them, their” and ask all school personnel and pupils to do so as well. We understand that Jill may resist this and ask you to use “she, her, her.” We expect her to grow out of this with time and discipline.

We understand that it is the official policy of the school district that it should be the parents, not their young dependents, who are to have the final say on pronoun usage. We are confident that you apply your policy neutrally and not only in those cases in which it is the child who elects pronouns diverging from those of traditional gender norms. Otherwise, your policy would not be one of parental rights, as publicly expounded, but merely one of entrenching procrustian, conservative gender ideology.